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Divorce Handbook
*The information
in this handbook is not meant to substitute for the advice of an
Attorney. You should speak with an Attorney regarding your specific
problem.
PART I - THE
BASICS
Before you can get a
divorce in Nebraska, you must show the Judge two things:
1. The first is that
you or your spouse have lived in the state for a full year right before
you filed for the divorce. If you lived in Nebraska three years ago and
just moved back, you cannot file for a divorce until you have lived here
a year. If your spouse lived here while you were away, you could file.
2. The second is
that the marriage is over, or "irretrievably broken." You have tried,
but there is no chance that you can make it work.
Nebraska has a
"no-fault" divorce law. This means that no matter how much you want to
tell the Judge what a rotten person you think your spouse is, you
usually will not have the chance to do so. The Judge does not decide
who was wrong. The Judge determines custody, property, debt division
and alimony, not who’s at fault.
You may feel a need
to talk about the problems in your marriage. Often, that is a good
idea. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are several agencies
listed in the yellow pages of the phone book under "Marriage and Family
Counselors." Get your advice on personal and family problems from a
trained counselor. Get your legal advice from your lawyer. Each is
trained to help you in a different way. Don’t confuse them.
In this handbook, we
show you the basic steps you must go through to get a divorce. A simple
divorce can be final in as little as nine or ten months. Few are that
simple. Each divorce is different.
STEP ONE -
CHOOSING A LAWYER
A lawyer cannot
represent both husband and wife in a divorce case. Even if you and your
spouse agree now about everything, problems can come up later on. Your
spouse may suggest that it would be cheaper to let one lawyer handle the
divorce for both of you. This really is not a great idea. However, if
you do choose one lawyer, make sure he or she is representing you. This
means that, on the papers filed, the lawyer is listed as your lawyer.
The fees you will
pay for your divorce include court costs and what your lawyer charges
for his or her time. To have papers given to your spouse by the sheriff
will cost additional money.
It depends on how easy it is for him to find your spouse. If your
lawyer decides a deposition is needed, you will have to pay for the time
and work of the court reporter. If you don’t know where your spouse is,
you will have to place an ad in a legal newspaper. This usually runs
$100.00 and up.
If you are unable to
afford the cost of bringing the divorce action you can ask the court to
allow you to proceed "In Forma Pauperis." In these cases the court can
order that the county pay the cost of filing the action and of serving
your spouse with the divorce papers. In Forma Pauperis proceedings will
not cover the cost of other expenses such as witness fees and deposition
costs.
In some cases, the
Judge will say that your spouse has to pay for all or some of these
costs. Ask your lawyer if this is possible in your case. Even if the
Judge orders your spouse to pay, your lawyer probably will want some
money from you before he or she will do anything. Then, if and when
your spouse pays, you may get some or all of your money back. If your
income is very low, you can ask the court to let you file without paying
the court costs, which is called filing "in forma pauperis."
You can help keep
your costs down and help speed up the divorce process by always being
ready when you talk with your attorney. The first time you see your
attorney, bring with you a list of your bills, a list of your household
goods, the legal description of your real estate, vehicle identification
numbers for your cars, income tax statements, credit cards, your
spouse’s social security number, the social security number for any
children of the marriage and a list of who wants what. Also bring a
list of your monthly bills for food, rent, utilities, doctors and
medicine, lunch money, bus fare, cleaning expenses, everything you must
pay for each month. Make a list and bring it along. Remember, if you
forget one of the questions and call your attorney later, that phone
call might cost you.
When you get into
the legal system, it is easy to become confused. You will hear new
words and be put in new situations. People, including your lawyer, will
think you know what is going on. Sometimes you won’t. It is important
that you do know. Ask questions about things you do not understand.
Your lawyer should be willing to explain. If your lawyer is not, you
may need a different lawyer. Just as you hired him or her, you can fire
them. There are many, many lawyers who take divorce cases. You should
be able to find the right one for you.
STEP TWO - FILING
YOUR PETITION
The next step in
getting your divorce, is to file a ”Petition."
Your Petition will
tell the Judge:
1. When and
where you were married;
2. Where you
live now;
3. Where your
spouse lives now;
4. That you or
your spouse have lived in the state for the last year;
5. The names and
birthdays of your children;
6. That you
think the marriage is over (irretrievably broken);
7. What you want
to happen with the children, your real estate, your furniture; your
household goods, your bills;
8. That you want
or do not want support (money) from your spouse;
9. That you want
the Judge to end the marriage;
10. That you want
the Judge to decide what happens with the children, visitation, your
real estate, your furniture, your household goods, your bills;
11. That you
want him to decide who pays what support; and
12. Anything
else you want the Judge to do.
(i.e. Maiden
name restored).
Usually some time
will go by between the time you first talk to your lawyer and when the
papers are ready. When they are ready, read them carefully. Make sure
all of the things said are right. Once everything is right, you will
sign the Petition before a Notary Public. This means that you are
swearing that everything said in the papers is true. Make sure that it
is!
Upon filing, your
case will be given a number. In most courts that number really is two
numbers, for example Docket 32, Number 14. These numbers will appear on
your court file and on all the papers filed from now on. Since you are
the person filing the Petition, you are called the Petitioner. Your
spouse is called the Respondent.
STEP THREE -
"NOTICE" OR LETTING YOUR SPOUSE KNOW YOU HAVE FILED FOR DIVORCE
Probably you and
your spouse have been talking about a divorce for some time. However,
your spouse still must be told "officially." There are three ways you
can officially tell your spouse you have filed: a voluntary appearance,
service by sheriff, or by publication. Your lawyer will discuss with
you which one is best for your case.
A. Entry of
Appearance, or Voluntary Appearance
The first way to
give notice is to have your spouse sign a paper called an "Entry of
Appearance" or "Voluntary Appearance." This
is a paper which
says that your spouse knows that you have filed. It also says that it
is all right with your spouse for you to go ahead. It also may say that
you do not have to give your spouse any other notice that you are going
ahead. Your spouse should sign this paper before a Notary Public. This
is done after you have filed your Petition. Once your spouse signs the
paper, your lawyer will file it with the Court. The day your lawyer
files the paper is the official day of notice.
B. Service of
Process
The second way to
give notice is to have the County Sheriff deliver a copy of your
Petition and a Summons to your spouse. A Summons is a paper which tells
your spouse how much time he has to file an "Answer" to your Petition.
The Sheriff must give these papers to your spouse personally. He cannot
leave them with someone else to give to your spouse. You will need to
know where your spouse can be found in order to have the Sheriff give
your spouse the papers. Your spouse can be served at home, at work, at
his or her favorite hang-out, or the place where it is easiest to find
him or her. Tell your lawyer the best place and the best times.
Remember, the more times the Sheriff has to go out to find your spouse,
the more it will cost you.
Even if your spouse
is not living in the same County or is not in Nebraska at all, you still
can have a sheriff give your spouse the papers. The Clerk of the
District Court in your county gives your lawyer the Summons. Your
lawyer then sends the Petition and Summons to the Sheriff where your
spouse lives. This type of service takes a little more time. There
also may be a problem of "Jurisdiction." This means that the Judge here
may not be able to make decisions about many of the things you asked for
in your Petition. There is a more complete explanation of Jurisdiction
in Part II of this handbook.
The Sheriff must
report back to the court whether or not he was able to find your spouse
and give him or her the papers. He only has a certain number of days to
do it. This is called the "return" date. If the Sheriff cannot find
your spouse the first time, your lawyer can ask that he try again. A
new Summons has to be written. You can keep trying to have your spouse
served this way if you find new addresses for him or her. However, if
the Sheriff is still not able to find your spouse, you will have to
serve him or her (give notice) in another way.
If the Sheriff does
give your spouse the papers, you have given your spouse notice. The
lawyer will probably call this type of giving notice "Service of
Process." The day that the Sheriff gives the papers to your spouse is
the official day of notice.
C. Notice by
Publication
The third way to
give your spouse notice is by publication. This is used only if you do
not know where your spouse is. Your lawyer will prepare a paper called
an "Affidavit" for you to sign. By signing it, you are swearing that
you do not know where your spouse is. It asks that the Judge let you
tell your spouse you have filed for divorce by placing a notice (like an
ad) in a legal newspaper. Your lawyer can tell you which paper is the
legal newspaper in your county. Your notice must run one day a week for
three weeks. No one expects your spouse to see the notice. Few people
other than lawyers read legal newspapers. But the law says you must do
it.
Giving your spouse
notice means that you must do one of the three things listed above.
Sometimes you may have to try all three. All take different amounts of
time. The costs are different for each. The important thing to
remember is that the official date of notice to your spouse is the date
used to decide how soon your divorce hearing can be set up. At least 60
days must go by before your lawyer can set up your final hearing. The
60 days begins on the official day of notice. The official day of
notice in your case will be:
1. The date your
lawyer files your spouse’s signed Entry of Appearance with the Court; or
2. The date the
Sheriff hands a copy of your Petition and a Summons to your spouse; or
3. The day your
notice (ad) is in the legal newspaper for the last (3rd) time.
STEP FOUR - YOUR
SPOUSE’S ANSWER
Every person who is
sued must be given the chance to tell his or her side of the story. He
does this by filing a paper with the court called an Answer. In an
Answer, the person being sued tells the court if he or she agrees or
disagrees with what is said in the Petition. He also tells the Judge
what he or she wants the Judge to do about the problem.
Your spouse has the
right to file an Answer to your Petition. Your spouse will have about
30 days from the time he or she is given notice that you have filed for
divorce to file his or her Answer to your Petition. In his or her
Answer, your spouse will tell the Judge if he or she agrees or disagrees
that the marriage is over. Your spouse also will tell the Judge his or
her feelings about custody, support and how your property should be
divided.
If your spouse does
not file an Answer ( he or she does not have to), you win by default.
It is just like a baseball game. When one team does not show up, the
other team automatically wins. What you win, if no Answer is filed, is
the right to go ahead with the divorce without your spouse. It also
means that if what you have asked for is fair, you will probably get it.
Your spouse may file
an Answer which agrees that the marriage is over, but disagrees with
some of the things you have said in the Petition. Probably your spouse
has hired his or her own lawyer. Now it is up to your lawyers to work
out an agreement based on your instructions. Make sure your lawyer
knows what you want, but be reasonable. There will need to be give and
take on both sides. Property is supposed to be divided in a fair way.
Support should be based on what you and the kids need and also what your
spouse really can afford to pay.
In most cases, your
divorce Decree will be worked out before your final hearing. The Decree
is the paper the Judge signs which ends your marriage and tells what
happens with the children, support, property, and bills. If you and
your spouse (through your lawyers) cannot agree, it will be up to the
Judge to make the decisions. Either way, the next step in the divorce
is the final hearing. We call this the final hearing because there may
have been a hearing soon after you filed called the Temporary Hearing.
There is a more complete explanation of this in Part II of the handbook.
STEP FIVE - THE
FINAL HEARING
The final hearing
cannot be set up any sooner than 60 days (two months) from the day of
notice to your spouse. Usually this means that at least three months
will go by from the time you filed your Petition before you go to court.
Your divorce hearing
can be a simple five-minute hearing or a full-blown trial taking several
hours or even days. What happens at the hearing will depend on whether
or not you and your spouse have been able to work things out. Before
the hearing, your lawyer should go over everything you will say in
court.
Your lawyer also
should tell you what questions your spouse’s lawyer is likely to ask
you. Your lawyer should talk with any witnesses you will bring with you
so that they know what your lawyer and the other lawyer will ask. Your
lawyer will want to know if you know of any problems which may come up.
Be honest with your attorney. Your lawyer cannot get ready to deal with
them if he or she doesn’t know about them.
If you have worked
things out, or your spouse never filed an Answer, your hearing will be
simple. Your spouse does not have to be at the hearing. Only one of
you must testify. Your lawyer will ask you to take the stand. You will
be sworn in. Your lawyer will ask you a few simple questions, most of
which will be about things you asked for in your Decree. Your lawyer
will give the Decree to the Judge. The Judge will read it. If he
agrees that the Decree is fair, he will sign it.
If you and your
spouse have not been able to work things out, you will have to let the
judge decide what is right and fair. Both you and your spouse may be
sworn in and questioned. You and your spouse may bring people with you
(witnesses) who can tell the Judge things which will help your side.
At the end of the
hearing, the Judge may decide everything right away. He/she may say he
wants time to think about what everyone has said.
Your lawyer should
give you a copy of the Decree as soon as it is signed. Read it
carefully. If you do not understand something in it, ask your lawyer to
explain it. If you agree with the Judge’s decision, you have gone
through all the steps you must take to get your divorce. All you must
do now is wait for 30 days to go by, and your divorce is final, except
for the purposes of re-marriage, appeal, and the continuation of health
insurance. The divorce will not be final for the purpose of you or your
spouse remarrying, appealing, and continuing health insurance until 6
months after the Judge signs the Decree. However, if you do not agree
with something in your Decree, go to Step Six.
STEP SIX - WHAT
TO DO IF YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT
If you do not agree
with something the Judge has decided, talk to your lawyer right away.
Your lawyer can ask the Judge to listen to the case a second time in
hopes that he will change his mind. If the Judge refuses or makes the
same decision, you can ask the Nebraska Court of Appeals or Supreme
Court to listen to your case. These Courts will decide if the District
Court Judge was right and fair.
An appeal to a
higher court can cost you a lot of money. It also will take quite a
while before the Judges will make a decision. Your lawyer should be
able to tell what your chances are of winning. The appellate Judges
will not change the District Court Judge’s decision unless they feel
he/she was unfair or he made a mistake of some kind in running your
hearing. If your lawyer tells you that your chances of winning are not
good, you may want to get a second opinion, but do it right away. There
are time limits which must be met. Your lawyer must ask the Judge to
listen to the case a second time within ten days of the first decision
the Judge made. The lawyer will file a Motion for New Trial. The
appeal to the Appeals Court or the Supreme Court must be made within 30
days of the day the Judge makes a decision.
STEP SEVEN - FROM
THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE
The day the Judge
signs the Decree all of the things spelled out in the Decree begin.
Some things may begin on a different date if the Judge said so in the
Decree. For example, child support may begin the month after the Decree
is signed. Read your Decree carefully so you know which dates apply.
Even though the
Decree goes into effect right away, you are still married for another
six months. The Decree for purposes of ending your marriage is not
final until six months from the date the Judge signed it. What this
really means to you is that you cannot marry anyone else until six
months after the Judge signs your Decree. This is true not just for
remarrying in Nebraska but anywhere. If you go to another state and
marry someone else before the six months are up, you are not legally
married.
PART II - WORDS
AND THINGS
We have arranged
this section in alphabetical order. We have tried to use the most
common terms so it will be easy for you to find what you need. If you
can’t find what you’re looking for, think about what else you might call
it and try again.
ALIMONY
Alimony is money one
spouse is ordered to pay for the other’s support. Before the Judge
orders alimony, he/she will consider how long you were married, if you
are able to support yourself, etc. For example, say you have been
married 25 years and have not worked for the last 20. It will be
difficult for you to find a job.
You may need to go
back to school. In this case, the Judge would probably order that your
spouse support you, at least until you were able to support yourself.
If you were disabled and could not work at all, the Judge probably would
order that support be paid for your lifetime or until you remarry.
Alimony almost always stops when you remarry.
You may not want any
money from your spouse. However, your lawyer may advise you to ask for
a token amount (as little as $1.00 per year). Take that advice. If
alimony is not included in the original Decree, you cannot ask for it
later on even if your situation changes and you need it. As long as the
$1.00 is there, you can ask for an increase later on.
Alimony is not just
for women. Courts sometimes order women to pay alimony to their
husbands.
ANNULMENT
Most people believe
that if you were married for only a short time, you can have the
marriage annulled rather than go through a divorce. Not true in
Nebraska. The length of the marriage does not matter. There are very
specific rules about when a marriage can be annulled. You should ask
your lawyer about specific rules for annulments.
The steps you must
go through to have your marriage annulled are about the same as those
for a divorce. The only difference is the amount of time it takes. An
annulment goes into effect right away. A divorce is not final for six
months. If you think you have cause for an annulment rather than a
divorce, ask your lawyer about it. A legal annulment is not a church
annulment. If you want a church annulment, you will need to talk to
your religious leader.
CHILD SNATCHING
Many states,
including Nebraska, have adopted the Uniform Child Custody Act. The Act
says and does many things. The most important thing for you is that it
keeps jurisdiction in the state where the child has the closest ties.
This is called the "home state." Usually this will mean the state where
the divorce was done if that is where you and the child still live.
The Judge in the
state where your spouse took the child cannot make decisions about
custody because the people who can tell the Judge what would be in the
best interest of the child are back in the child’s home state. The Judge
must order that the child be returned to you. Congress passed a similar
law which requires that all states must pay attention to custody decrees
from other states. It also says that the federal government can help to
find a parent who has snatched a child and that the FBI can become
involved in some of these cases.
If your spouse does
take off with your child or refuses to return him after he has gone for
a visit, call your lawyer. You will need your lawyers help in using
these laws to get your child back.
CHILD SUPPORT
Usually, the parent
who does not have custody of the children will be ordered to pay money
for their support. The amount the Judge orders is based on the needs of
the children and both parents’ ability to pay. The Nebraska Supreme
Court has set forth guidelines that are to be followed when establishing
child support. The child support paid through the Nebraska Child Support
Payment Center is separate from any "gifts" that the supporting parent
may give the child.
Your spouse will be
ordered to make payments to the Clerk of the District Court. The Clerk
then sends the payments to you. The Clerk’s records of the payment are
the best evidence in arguments about support.
Collecting child
support can become a problem, especially if your spouse does not live in
the state or work on a regular basis. If you are receiving AFDC, you
have assigned your right to child support to the state. This means that
the state gives you a full AFDC payment and they keep whatever child
support he pays. When your spouse does not pay, they go after him or
her.
If you are not
receiving AFDC, you can hire your own lawyer or you can ask the County
Attorney (through the Child Support Enforcement Office) to go after your
spouse. Since this office handles many, many cases, it sometimes takes
quite a while for them to act on your case. Sometimes, rather than take
your spouse to court, they will work out an arrangement where he pays
less than originally ordered. If you don’t agree with he change, tell
the County Attorney and the Judge will decide what’s fair. Remember,
child support and visitation is two different things. You cannot keep
your spouse from seeing the children simply because he has not paid
child support.
COMMON LAW
MARRIAGE
If you live with
your boyfriend or girlfriend in Nebraska but do not take out a marriage
license or have a wedding, you are not married. Not even if you live
together for seven years or more. If, however, you move to a state
which does recognize a common law marriage as valid and then move back
to Nebraska, you would have a valid marriage in Nebraska. The
requirements for common law marriage are different from state to state.
If you have a valid common law marriage and then you split up, you need
to get a divorce to end the marriage.
CONTEMPT OF COURT
When a Judge says
someone is in "contempt of court," he/she means that the person is not
doing something he or she was ordered to do even though they are able to
do it. The Judge can punish them for this. Contempt hearings can be
very serious. The Judge can put a person in jail for being in contempt
of court.
The most common type
of contempt hearings is held because the spouse gets behind in paying
his child support. If he has a good reason, the Judge might give your
spouse a chance to get caught up. If not, the Judge can send your
spouse to jail.
You can ask your
lawyer to set up a contempt hearing whenever your spouse is not doing
something he was ordered to do in your divorce Decree. Your lawyer can
tell you if this is the best way to get what you want.
If you are ordered
to pay child support but you cannot, you can ask the Court to modify or
change the divorce Decree. Judges don’t do this, however, unless you
have a good reason for the change. Talk to a lawyer when the problem
first starts. If you wait until you are in contempt for not paying, the
Judge might not be willing to lower or stop the payments.
CUSTODY OF THE
CHILDREN
When a Judge has to
decide who will have custody of the children, he/she must decide on the
basis of what is in the best interests of the children. He/she must
decide which parent can, on a day-to-day basis, best provide for the
children. Providing means more than a house and food. It also means
meeting the child’s emotional needs; seeing that the child grows up
happy and healthy.
A Judge cannot give
the mother custody just because he/she thinks children belong with their
mother. He cannot give the father custody just because the father makes
a lot more money than the mother. The Judge listens to all that is said
at the hearing. This could include reports from a psychologist. If the
children are older (usually at least 12), the Judge might ask who they
want to live with. After listening to everything, he/she must decide
what is best for the children. The activities of the parent are not
considered unless they have an effect on the children. So, don’t think
you’ll lose your children automatically if you have had an extramarital
affair. Be sure to talk to your lawyer about it, however.
DIVISION OF
PROPERTY
Everything you and
your spouse bought while you were married with money that you shared or
gifts which were given to both of you belong to both of you. This
includes real estate, household goods, appliances, furniture, cars,
boats, trailers, stocks, bonds, etc. When you get your divorce, this
property must be divided. If you and your spouse cannot agree on how it
should be divided, the Judge will have to decide.
The Judge is
supposed to divide the property in a fair way. Some things are not easy
to divide; for example, your house or car. If something cannot be
divided, the Judge can give something of equal value to the other
person. He/she also can order that property be sold and the profit
divided.
If you and your
spouse have been separated for a while, you probably have already
divided most of the property. The Judge usually will not change this
division unless one of you complains or he/she thinks that the division
was not fair.
DIVISION OF DEBTS
(BILLS)
While you and your
spouse were married, you probably had joint credit cards, charge
accounts, took out loans, etc. Someone has to continue to pay for these
bills. Again, if you and your spouse cannot agree on who should pay
what, the Judge will have to decide.
One important thing
to remember: your divorce Decree only affects your relationship with
your spouse, not with your creditors. As far as they are concerned, you
and your spouse both owe them. Your divorce Decree does not take your
name off the bill. If your spouse does not pay, they will want you to
pay. If you do not, they may try to repossess whatever you named as
security (collateral) on the loan. They also can sue you for the
balance due on the loan.
If your spouse does
not pay, you can ask your lawyer about a contempt of court hearing. The
Judge can punish your spouse for not paying the bills he or she was
ordered to pay. If you ever find out that your ex-spouse is filing for
bankruptcy, talk to your lawyer. Your spouse cannot include alimony or
child support in his bankruptcy. He may not be able to include debts he
was ordered to pay in the divorce Decree. But it is important that you
talk to a lawyer right away about those debts.
GETTING YOUR
PRIOR NAME BACK
After your divorce,
you may want to go back to using your maiden name. If this is not your
first marriage, you may want to go back to your former married name,
especially if you have children with that name. Be sure to tell your
lawyer you want this at your first interview. Your request must be in
your Petition for divorce.
GUARDIAN AD LITEM
A Guardian ad litem,
or GAL, is a person appointed by the court to represent children in a
custody dispute. The GAL is generally an attorney who is supposed to
look out for the "best interests" of the child/children. This may or
may not mean doing what the child wants. The GAL fees are either paid
by the parents or the County.
IN FORMA PAUPERIS
Every person has the
right to file their Petition with the Court even if they cannot pay the
filing fees. A Judge must order that the person be allowed to file
without paying if they can show they can’t afford the court costs. The
person must sign an Affidavit which shows income and expenses. If the
Judge agrees that you cannot afford to pay for the fees, he/she signs an
Order which says that you can file without pre-paying. The county may
then be ordered to pay the fees (filing, Sheriff, publication). This
does not include lawyers’ fees.
INSURANCE
If your spouse has a
life insurance policy at the time of the divorce, you can ask the Judge
to order your spouse to make the children the beneficiaries. This would
protect the children in case he was married again or could not pay in
the future.
Nebraska law
requires parents to obtain health insurance for the benefit of any
children as long as it is available through an employer or other
association at a reasonable cost
JOINT CUSTODY
Several states have
passed laws which allow Judges to award joint custody. Nebraska has
not. A Judge can award joint custody even though there is no specific
law. However, Judges are not as likely to do so.
Joint custody can
mean different things. It can mean that one parent still has the child
most of the time, but both parents make the decisions about the child.
It can mean that the child lives equal amounts of time with both
parents. In order for joint custody to work, the parents must be able
to work together. Not everyone is able to put aside their feelings. Be
realistic about your relationship with your spouse. If you fought about
how to raise the children while you were married, joint custody probably
will continue that fight.
JURISIDICTION
Jurisdiction is the
authority of the court to hear and decide a case.
LEGAL SEPARATION
If you or your
spouse did not live in the state long enough to file for a divorce, you
can file for a legal separation. The things you and your lawyer must do
are just about the same as when you file for a divorce. The costs are
about the same. The Judge can make decisions about the children,
support, division of property and bills, restraining orders, etc. The
real difference is that a legal separation does not end the marriage.
MODIFICATION OF A
DECREE
Modification simply
means change. You can ask the Judge to change things he/she ordered in
your first divorce Decree. However, before he/she will do this, you
must show him that something has changed. You cannot ask him/her to
change the Decree just because you did not like what he/she did the
first time.
The court requires a
"substantial change in circumstances." For example, say you want more
child support. Inflation has made it more costly for you to take care
of your children. This is one fact you can show to the Judge. But you
probably will need more. You could show that your spouse is making more
money now than he was at the time of the divorce, or perhaps, you are
making less.
Whenever you feel
that something in your Decree should be changed, think about how you can
show the Judge that things have changed. Then talk with your lawyer.
PARENTING ACT
Since September of
1994 all parties to child custody proceedings must receive information
materials from the clerk of the district court where the action has been
filed. These materials are designed to educate the parties regarding
the proceedings and the effects that it may have on the children
involved. Generally the attorneys involved are responsible for
distributing the materials under the parenting act.
RESTRAINING
ORDERS
There are two types
of restraining orders which can be used to keep your spouse away from
you. The first simply tells your spouse to leave you alone and stay
away. A Judge can sign this type of order without holding a hearing.
The second type tells your spouse to leave the family home and stay away
from you. This type of restraining order requires a hearing. If you
have been physically hurt or think you will be, you can ask for a
restraining order without filing for a divorce. This applies to people
who live together but are not married, too.
A restraining order
is simply a piece of paper. If your spouse disobeys it, the Judge can
find your spouse in contempt of court. If your spouse is determined to
hurt you or refuses to leave, you may not be able to get the law to help
you in time. Sometimes you may just have to find another place to stay
for a while. If you cannot stay with relatives or friends, there are
agencies which can help you. Many cities have agencies that can help
you find a place to stay and provide other services you may need. Call
your County Welfare Office to find out where to call.
If you decide to
stay at the family home, change the locks. At the first sign of
trouble, call the police. Do not open the door to try and reason with
your spouse. When you leave your home, try to have someone with you.
For more information, call the Nebraska Commission on the Status of
Women. They have handbooks which might help you.
TEMPORARY
HEARINGS
Several months may
go by from the time you file your Petition until the Judge signs your
divorce Decree. Some things need to be dealt with before that. You may
need money to live on. You and your spouse may be fighting over custody
of the children. You need the Judge to make some decisions about these
problems right away.
Your lawyer can ask
the Judge to hold a temporary hearing. This hearing is very much like
the hearing in Step Five. The difference is that everything the Judge
decides at the temporary hearing only stays in effect until the final
hearing.
VISITATION
The parent who does
not have custody of the children still has the right to see and spend
time with his children. This is usually called Visitation Rights. Some
divorce decrees spell out exactly when and how often the spouse can see
the child. Some decrees simply say "reasonable rights" to visitation.
Talk with your lawyer about what would be best in your case.
Child Support and
Visitation are separate things. Just because your spouse does not pay
support, does not mean you can keep him or her from seeing the children.
Studies show that
children whose parents are going through a divorce have fewer problems
when both of their parents stay involved in their life. Children often
feel that the divorce is their fault. If one parent seems to drop out
of the child’s life, it can increase the child’s feelings of guilt and
loneliness.
Try
to keep your spouse involved in your child’s life. Talk with him or her
about decisions which need to be made. Encourage your spouse to keep
their relationship with your child as unchanged as possible. This may
not be easy. You may have very bad feelings about your spouse and the
divorce. Get outside help if you cannot put aside those bad feelings.
Remember, you divorced your spouse, but your children did not.
Prepared
and provided by: Legal Aid of Nebraska.
For Nebraska Judicial Branch On-Line Self-Help Court approved Pro
Se information and forms use the following link
Nebraska Judicial
Branch On-Line Self-Help
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